aUtOdiDakT :: Takes on Newtown

A bunny, a fly and a sailor walk into a bar...

Before you envision Barry Hilton and the beginning of a very dry cider ad, picture this in Joburg’s murderously resonating Town Hall. Add a dude wearing the traditional gear of Ghana, one in a turban, blood-soaked controllers on the mixing desk and a Mac with a hangover.

Then picture at the epicenter of this formidable macrocosm the bulk of Jo’burg music’s most fearsome and finest, and a lanky Aryan whose bass-soaked beats will make you shudder in petrified pleasure. And there you have it. Another epic night in Newtown.

These parties just don’t get old, and neither do we. Or, at least, that’s how the colossal acts that played on Saturday made me feel.

A bit skeptical of the hip-hop/techno/jock vibe that had enveloped the evening at first, I finally gave into an imminent high when the guys from Musical Chairs and Shuffleshame joined arms in victorious self-indulgent bromance for a sweet mix of Pursuit of Happiness. This had the crowd shouting sweet-nothings and pledging undying physical devotion to the roof and walls of Town Hall. Undying until 4am Sunday morning, at least.

Twelv and Thesis were their vigorously deranged and contagious selves, with Twelv’s face having been mysteriously swallowed by a plasticy bug-eyed creature with flailing arms. Words cannot express how much I dig this never-to-disappoint duo, even if they have surrendered themselves to a dragonfly king cult.

A few shots of chaotic abandon later, and cue the hard-hitting heavy sounds of Haezer. The man is a genius. If any lost revelers weren’t feeling the beat in their soles before, he took them there in a matter of gut-wrenching seconds. He makes the party worth the ringing ears and blistered feet, especially for countless eager exhibitionists who found themselves on top of speakers, the mixing desk and each other, swaggeringly overtaking the stage for the remainder of the night. In the words of Autodidakt, ‘Haezer seriously seem(s) to own that country‘.

Between the tossing around of 1m long decorative trains, tequila bottles, and Haezer himself, Autodidakt (he of the ‘petrified pleasure’ fame) concluded his South African tour with some solid ‘wobble-indie-rave-electro-breaks‘ .

Flavoured with the sweet taste of the crowd’s absolute devotion and surrender to the German’s seriously refined mixing and apt choice of daunting beats, a good lesson was learnt in why beer, equipment, and overzealous jumping around on mixing desks is not a good idea. A second valuable lesson was learnt in why, once you go Mac, you never go back. After surviving an ordeal like that, your Mac is your best friend for life

The able and adept Double Adapter played the troops out, despite their equipment being showered with tequila, an ogre-like photographer and a lot of Tim Apter’s blood following a lot of Fuck yeahs and Who wants tequila?s. Big ups to our local musical geniuses for doing us proud. Autodidakt’s status update read yesterday: ‘almost every act I played with in South Africa was like TOTALLY SICK!! Double Adapter, Liver, Musical Chairs, Bruce Willis, El Gordo, Enough Weapons and all the others: Europe prepare for these guys!’

And so they should.